Being Yourself continued…

Stop acting like you know who you are.

Many times I look or sound one way and really do not feel the same way inwardly. That’s called “acting”. To some people this a skilled art. This will be a long blog, so if you do not want to read right now, go ahead and stop here.

The most important thing to me is God.

The way I speak of God is a reflection of who God is to me. This is inevitably a part of my identity.

For instance, I have confessed to be a Christ follower or Christian. Whether I believe in my heart is between me and God. Romans 10:9-10. God incarnate (human) is Jesus. Jesus is God’s son. Apparently, Jesus is at the right hand of the father now, according to scripture. The Holy Spirit was then sent down by God to be our guide b/c after Jesus came and did his thing… badabingbadaboom… He was out. We leave off with the Holy Spirit coming from God to be our Life Guide if you will.

Another for instance, the Bible is not mere words, but it’s also alive. It is the sword for our Life Guide if you will again. When we face scary animals in the forest of life, our Life Guide will chop their heads off with his sword. Plus, humans like to go their own way, and usually need a guide back to the direction in which they needed to be headed before they got off on some tangent.

Let me get back on track (Thanks Life Guide). I write this blog not to defend my theology, but to give a brief background of my belief right now.

Most of this comes from the way I grew up, Sunday school, people, places, and events. As far as faith goes, I can’t defend God against Allah or any other person growing up in another cultural faith. It’s not my job, I will let the Life Guide and his sword do the talkin. In summary God is best recognized in the way of the big 3; Dirk, Jett, and… wait…I mean; God (Father), Jesus (Son), and Holy Spirit ( Life Guide) - TriGod

My reference for the subject of being yourself is wrapped up in this identity.

My lackluster choice of wording and language for this subject hopefully helps portray my true identity crisis. The more scriptural examples I read in regards to identity, the more I cannot escape using the word “crisis”.

If Lucifer Sucker Satan’s (that’s his full name – that is if you believe in Mr. Satan) strong suit is deception? How much, do you think, would he hope to confuse us into thinking our identity should be in anything other than TriGod’s desire for us (humans)? How much time do we spend punching our moral calculator b/c Mr. Satan has us believing we can change our identity?... constantly treading to keep our good above water. How many times do we confuse our wants for needs?... hoping to impress our closest friends.

Maybe our identity is going to be doodoo regardless of how much we try. TriGod already knows our doodoo, hence His sending His son. Our friends know it too, they just don’t tell you to your face.

That’s where the crisis comes in… if I constantly battle the idea of impressing TriGod or other people, my crisis is the guilt of not measuring up to TriGod or the girl next door.

Not only do I think this is relevant, but it is central to me for being a Christian.

If you call yourself a Christian, you have given up trying. You are no longer being yourself. You are recognizing you are nothing without God. No longer do I need an identity, cause that was killed with Christ. I am not and Christ is. You see the good and the bad equally, not just the good. No more hiding. Christ becomes the focal point… the focus… the amazin… the cleanser… the life savior… You may not like the bad, but he died for it. You can’t hide it. You can try, but its worthless.

This does not mean I have no more accountability or I do not have to deal with sin? No, but belief is not fought amoung men. It just simply means, I do not have to try to impress anything or anyone anymore. We allow Christ to become famous… glorified… hailed… awesome and all those other overused churchy terms. He transcends trends in your life and becomes timeless. He is recognized in your life as the purpose for life. You have nothing to do with it, except being His unique creation that was created for the purpose of His enjoyment. People are not impressed with Christ in your life. They are just impressed with Christ.

My dad sent this is email from Russia yesterday, he preaches to different churches while he is over there. He said, “Our motivation should not be for any gain at all. We have become so self-centered that we go to God only for something from Him, and not for God Himself. I found my self saying more than once (while preaching)…. “It is like saying No, LORD, I don’t want you; I want myself. But I do want You to clean me and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be on display in Your showcase, the church, so I can say, ‘This is what God has done for me.”

Once we reflect and begin to deal with our selfishness, our identity is like a dream of going to work or school in your underwear…exposed.

Therefore, TriGod makes for a good relief. A good relief from ourselves… our nature. We kill our identity willingly and start from the beginning. We wake from the dream… we are born again. Especially in this time of year of busy schedules, shopping, kids, business, intentions, parties, church stuff, and blahblahblah we need a relief… and I believe it came in the form of a baby… the noisiest, non-sleeping, beautiful, non-potty trained, innocent, time consuming, soft, alien looking baby.

God had a baby before we were united. Therefore we are in a separated marriage or the baby came first, im not sure. (LG intervention)

You know what is so significant to me about TriBaby? TriBaby is the first stroke in painting a picture of what it takes. He is the beginning of hope. A beautiful picture of heaven and earth colliding. The struggle of the travel and the manger and the running for your life. The example of what it takes to restore the world.

Of course Mr. Satan would twist it around to help it be about us.

When it is about us, we think of the fun traditions, treats, and gifts (I know-bahhumbug!).
When it is about TriBaby, we notice the crying and the goat breath and the mission.

It is a celebration of the savior, born into a crazy world. It had only just begun. It wasn’t going to be a pretty deal.

Well, to fininsh this long and haynus blog, I leave myself with this thought. TriGod completed his work on earth through Christ, and looking back on that I wish to reaffirm the day my identity was severely wounded. Til the day I die, I will give up. Call me a quitter or loser and you will help throw another dagger deeper into the soul of my identity.

Unlike Paul, I cannot say my identity has completely been thrown under the bus, but when TriGod blinds me from His radiance, I will run into the bus gladly.



Afterthought:

Heres the most obvious example of trying to me; People running around like psychos and screaming “Fags go to Hell”. Not exactly what TriGod had in mind, I don’t think. In all truth, I like gays and lesbians, mostly out of sympathy. I don’t get to hang out with any of them, so therefore I guess I like the idea of having one as a friend. There is no relationship now, except for that one guy, kinda. Regardless, maybe they are in a crisis of identity. If so, join the crowd.

Part One - When I think about this subject I can't help but laugh.

Before I go on I want to preface the term "We" as you and I. Not more "you than I" or "I than you".

I laugh b/c this is the way I deal with things that are ridiculous and when I finally come to realize this, I laugh. Some people get angry, cry, kiss their boyfriend, go into a hole, or drink... I laugh.

Be yourself. Our generation is inthralled with this line or the variations of it... Be authentic... Be real... Be who you are... We have countless reality shows about it and praise people who are supposedly transparent in the dumbest things. However, what does this term mean? It recently sounds like jibberish to me. I try to wrap my pea size brain around this term and I turn into a philisophical vegatable.

For instance, children are so honest, brutal but innocent. They can say someone is fat and their bases is in comparison to the average person they come across. Usually, for the most part, they would not say this unless the person was way above the average and in return were compelled to comment. Being yourself is akward and adolescent. So many times we confuse discretion with law. Meaning, I tell Cooper, my 6yr old son, to not say these things to people in fear of people opening up a can on our family.

Point being... lets stop throwing around this small slogan in such a superficial and shallow way. Like it is easy to do or something. Being yourself is by no means easy to pinpoint.

One time I was going to speak in front of a bunch of people and my preparation seemed more inadequate the closer time drew near for me to talk. All of the sudden, seemingly out of no where, some lady said, "Don't worry just be yourself ". At that moment in time, that was the worst advice. Seriously, be yourself? Being myself was a reminder of my inability to study and prepare enough to say anything worth hearing. I wanted to punch the lady and tie her up in the back... after I finished speaking some bull cr*p to a bunch of people and faking a cry, go back to her and say "Those people actually eat this up and you being yourself is falling for the same cr*p lady... and stop nodding in agreement... please, b/c we dont agree here."

Its not that easy. We are shallow as a country, as consumers, as politicians, as employees, and as humans. We fall for media driven slogans everyday and make life changing judgments off these dramatically trite interpretations of the truth. We almost take them as Law.

When I call someone out, there is usually a bit of bitter root.
When my child calls someone out, there is usually an innocent commonality.

We need to get back to the innocence produced by grace. The more forgiveness we accept the more beauty is revealed. When time becomes eternal and people become important enough to take that time to be truthful with. Where success is not measured in one stereotypical mistake, but in the value of neighbourly love. Maybe we ought to burn our fences or buildings. I want to believe it's that important.

Show me how to be myself.
or at least...

to be continued.

Do people know you for what you stand for?

or

Do people know more of you by what you oppose?

Think about it. Look at your closest friends and what they represent in this matter.

For instance I pledge allegiance to Michael Vick on PS2, odd music, receipt losers, mexican coffee beans, smart people who write sarcastic spiritual books, and Jack in the Box...(to name a few) This is me

Not that I even like all of these things, but my opposition to things in my life are of little importance in comparison to who I represent. Some of my allegiance will change, but only in time. Don't get me wrong I wish sometimes I could find all of my receipts, but those little boogers are clever...not to down play the frustration they cause me.

I have a friend or two who express there strong oppositions frequently. Using my examples as a parallel to this thought. He/she thinks video games are a waste of time, losing receipts is very irresponsible, coffee is gross and Jack In the Box had dead people in their freezers. Not to mention they didn't sleep good last night. I am okay with them doing this... oh well.

But back to the question my friend, what do you stand for? I'd like to know. Because sometimes we become more famous for what we oppose than who we are.

Take time to do something you love to do and do not be ashamed. Share your fantasy novels with someone or share something that represents you. Be content in life at this moment in time. Pray for transparent skin, so that others might see the condition of your heart.

Oppositon is a crutch of the skeptic. Take it away and you become lame. Sometimes I look at the world and see a bunch of lame cripples trying to hide their disability with a crutch.

All the while, the healing occurs when we stand for who we are, so that that process can begin.