Sunday, February 11, 2007

My guilty pleasure is being a stay at home Dad. I had to keep the kids this weekend because Melissa had to go to baby showers, study groups, and certifications. So it ended up being my turn to step up to the responsibilty plate. At first, every five minutes I heard Coop say, "oh wait Daddy, Momma does it like this." Of course I come back at him like a mature adult with, "I don't care how she does it, this is how Daddy does it...so step off... your'e only 5. "

Momman Tip # 1 - When you take you kids to the mall playground(trust me you will), other moms don't like when your kids starts king of the mountain.

Everything from washing dishes to poopy diapers made for a strangely enjoyable experience. Don' t get me wrong, there were a few hiccups along the way. Particulary when the kids start their morning around 7am, which is appx. an hour earlier than I usually get up. No tellin what they did for that hour.

Momman Tip # 2 - TV is not bad for kids, especially the HD Discovery Theatre.

I really liked the picking up and organizing parts of the day. Im not a big cleaner kind a guy, but I like windex and thick paper towels. As far as preparing meals go, it's pretty much a piece of cake and great snacks. I especially looked forward to after lunch when we would watch prenap cartoons followed up by a 2 hour siesta.

Momman Tip # 3 - Turn all the lights on and turn the TV off when you clean the house. Then just keep lamps on when the Mrs.s gets home to masks carpet stains. Also, put some popcorn in the microwave 5-10mins before the Mrs.s gets home to mask the smells.

Looking back on the weekend I feel as though I have refined my spiritual gifts and momman skills. This occupation is somewhat frowned upon in some cultures getting tagged with being "gay" or wussy. I personally hope that I can touch the hearts of all the men out there who desire to be more mommanish. Its not like we all have to go out to the frontlines of battle or kill our dinner anymore. A woman can can hold here own these days, especially in the corporate world. I will strongly encourage Melissa to bring in the 6 figures, but at the same time not letting her forget who wears the pants. Besides that there are enough single moms out there who would probably lobby for the momman.

Momman Tip # 4 - At any moment the stuff can hit the fan. It all usually comes down at one time. The eye of the storm. The madness has you surrounded and everything seems unmanageable. They both are crying b/c one got pushed off the bunk bed and the other one got hit with a rolling pin, meanwhile the mother-in-law calls, and doorbell rings. First things first, close the newspaper, get off the toilet, and put on your bath robe. Push mute on the phone, lock the kids in seperate rooms, and then answer the door.


Last thing: If you are serious about testing you momman skills you better get your gameface on. Its not a walk in the park, but it is very rewarding. You might come out of the experience with a greater appreciation for something new like Huggies wipees, or dolls named Reba, kid leashes, or wicked creepy Power Ranger cartoons.

Momman you can't find a betterman.

3 comments:

Shane said...

Can I borrow your kids as kind of like a tester?

Josh McCasland said...

along as they do not comeback disturbed or screwed up. im pretty sure neither one of them have "sinned" yet.

cody culberson said...

hey mccasland. i'm not the one trying to be a mom here.


...you fairy.

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